Lakeside Visitor July 2010

 

Last month we talked about how we can’t fool God with sugarcoated words that cover arsenic-laced intentions. That flows into this month’s bitter pill of how we can fool ourselves. Read Matthew 15:1-11 and jump on my train of thought. I have to admit, this is a difficult horse pill for me because I know, as most of you do as well, that we Christians can carry an air–intentional or not–of superiority or religious piety that hardly represents our inner lives. And in most cases we cannot separate our inner lives from the language we use. Our lips will show the condition of our souls despite our careful window dressing.

Jesus jumps on the scribes and Pharisees for dissecting his road crew in judgment for the most heinous neglect of washing their hands before they ate (parents, don’t let your kids use this on you to avoid cleanliness)! I imagine it was only too humorous to hear Jesus bust out the big guns and expose the real problem. Can you imagine neglecting your responsibility to love your wife and kids, or your parents, because you love God so much? Well, this crowd of frosty-nosed uppity-ups seemed to care more about a religious display, a cacophony of holy words, than faithful living. But Jesus wasn’t having any of that. So much for the all-loving God who lets us do whatever we want, right? Our personal convictions and ways of doing things, even when it comes to our pursuit of God, often fall miserably short of worshipping God–especially when we expect others to be where we are. Jesus knows this, and He pulls no punches.

Honoring God with papier-mâché lips, while housing a heart of indifference, doesn’t just hurt God. It defiles us. We have a way of checking our “allowances” around certain groups of friends before we finally feel comfortable to let our verbal bellies explode over our conscience belts. And it’s a relief, isn’t it, like we can breathe again? Comedian Jim Gaffigan says that he preps one group of friends about another before they meet: “Um, they don’t think I drink. And don’t be thrown by my British accent.” Jesus tells us here that we may cover our worldly reality with a spiritual accent but it doesn’t work. We cannot fool ourselves without becoming defiled by hypocrisy and deceit, which will ultimately result in turning from the faith (1 Timothy 4:1-2). I don’t think Jesus brought up the danger of false speech and actions to be a stick in the mud. He did it to help us. Will we take the lesson and be helped this month?

Lakeside Visitor June 2010

 

Last month we talked about how our speech should be graceful and lift others up. But this month we’re going to acknowledge that hugely unhealthy elephant in the room: we can use the sweetest words to cover up a heart of ill will toward others. Do you see the angry trunk rising up in you in protest? “I don’t do that! That would be wrong, and unchristian, and a sorry example to others, and….” <hiccup> Oh wow, I’m so sorry. I always get the hiccups when I try to talk, breath, and eat crow all at the same time! Now, back to the elephant. We all have done it, but more importantly, we all still do it. Even in our moments of disagreement with this idea, we picture the people we know who speak falsely as though this turns God–and us, for that matter–off the trail of the truth.

Read the parable of Jesus in Luke 18:9-14–I’ll wait. Good, now a couple questions: why do you think Jesus wanted to pit the hoity-toity against the IRS auditor? What would be the ‘Vegas odds’ you’d get on betting the religious type would be admired by God? Better yet, why did Jesus address the Pharisee’s laundry list of good deeds and self-aggrandizing belittlement of another out of all the things he could have used in his story? Like it or not, this is a timeless story that reads like a kidney punch. We often want to bring the good we do to God in hopes that our bad will slip through unnoticed, or at least be far less consequential when seen in perspective. And this is why it’s so easy to see the wrongs of another and have to rebuke ourselves for plotting ‘ME’ a little higher on the Goodness Graph than them. A weird sentence, yes, but there’s an example there when Jesus says no one but the Father is good and, besides, our good stuff looks like filth compared to God’s standards.

It really is a hopeless lesson, isn’t it? And one that we have to learn repeatedly. When we hear Jesus’ rebuke in Matthew 12:34-37 we know that even a little looking into ourselves can send us all into a tailspin. We could land on the couch eating Bon-Bon’s and Cheetos, watching The Biggest Loser, and remarking to no one in particular, “No, I’m the biggest loser.” But thank you Jesus that we don’t need to put ourselves through all that. We are to learn from the Pharisee vs. IRS agent. Instead of using sweet words to cover the death that boils up from the heart, the Holy Spirit can–and will, in time–drain such self-serving perspectives from our hearts, minds, and mouths.  Each time we fight the negative flow, the next battle gets a little easier. Though the gift of guilty gab never fully disappears, our successes will make rejecting those thoughts easier, if not unnecessary (because you stop having them, you follow?). As for me, I’m still on the road to improvement in that area. Which direction will you find yourself pointed in this month?

Lakeside Visitor May 2010

Last month I got raw with myself (and you), and want to make this article an update on the situation as well as a continuation of the series on speech. The past month’s revelations gave way to a “Neighbors in the Park” idea and some conversation in the complex during the 7.2 earthquake I enjoyed with my parents in town. Thankfully no one was hurt but my interaction with those who live close by has taken several baby steps forward this past month. Sadly, the day in the park never happened but I am not discouraged or giving up on my attempts to create the kind of relationships that God can use in His timing. What I can do, in the meantime, is make use of the opportunities I’ve been given and align myself with God’s very practical Word to all of us.

This month’s word is from Ephesians 4:29-32 so take a moment to read it. I hope you, like me, are able to feel both the conviction of failure and the elation of success where these verses are concerned. Both are necessary to grow in the humility needed to become more like Christ–to be sure, an upward climb of mixed experiences. But where we cannot perfect the command in our lives, we are not thereby released from its admonition. As the oft-quoted proverb says, we may be the only Jesus some people see. If we take Jesus’ parable of feeding, clothing, and visiting to heart as well, we may miss the opportunity to minister to Christ with the heart of Christ if we do not follow Paul’s instructions here. I am humbled by a scary realization that the God of the universe chooses to meet the need of another hurting heart through me!

I do not know what the coming months will bring with my neighbors, but I do know that I can control my speech with, and attitude toward, them. My bitterness toward their situation will grow unless I focus on loving them as God loves them. I can make stinging comments about them behind closed doors but that kills the face-to-face love I would rather show. Callousness toward them is the same as ignoring them when in their presence but I can choose to be tender-hearted and encourage their potential. Though grace was addressed in February, its practice is never passé. For those forgiven in Christ, the power of forgiveness and grace and a loving spirit should be common knowledge. We grieve God’s Holy Spirit when we do not do all we can to behave as worthy representatives of Christ for God’s glory. Just so we’re clear, we don’t need to sneak under the ‘Approved Behavior’ radar for our salvation, but the evidences of that salvation will become real in our speech and behavior. Till next time, practice being real with a view to personal growth. Give grace to those who hear, whether or not you think they particularly deserve it. After all, God did it for you.

Lakeside Visitor April 2010

The importance of speaking with grace and love–the subject of the past three months’ articles–is often shown negatively in scripture. We more often see bad behaviors chastised and learn what we should do. Paul, in his letter to the Galatians, gives just such an example on the heels of a rebuke to a group called the ‘circumcision’. Take a moment to read Galatians 5:13-26 and think about how speech fits into this passage. Where is your speech described here?

The more I awake to our neighbor’s fights the more I am given examples of what not to do, how I should avoid using my speech. This morning I had the pleasure of overhearing a caregiver tell her charge that she hopes the other child will beat the… well, you know, out of him. My heart breaks for this family and how they are setting themselves up for a relational fall that will leave scars that last so much longer than the moment of anger. I hear these things and am driven to God’s word to seek guidance and comfort when I think on this sin. They bite, and devour, and are consumed by each other as each outburst and challenge is returned in kind. Moreover, I cannot help but rebuke myself and strive to improve my own speech as well.

When we choose to follow Christ, our family becomes those who also follow Christ. Our neighbors (14), then, are everyone else and we are to love them as we love ourselves. Do we? Or do our fleshly deeds make mince meat of God and those unfortunate enough to be in our line of sight? The stakes are higher than right now, higher than offending someone whom we hope will get over it quickly and without the humiliation of our apology–they are nothing short of the kingdom of God. In our speech, as well as our actions, we proclaim to the world whose we are. Who do you belong to? “If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit” (25), exercise love, and practice the fruit of the Spirit.

I do not mean to throw my neighbors under the bus for public ridicule, but I do hope their story is shockingly offensive to us all. Are we offended by the behavior, offended by the retelling? Are we offended enough to admit how seldom we Christians are willing to hold our own speech and behavior up to a mirror? Are we willing to judge them while ignoring how fake and phony we are when we meet with one another? We avoid opportunities to confess our own sins because then people will know what we try to hide. We hide our sin because it’s embarrassing.* But sin does become us. We are people of unclean lips. I encourage us all to think about the legacy we leave behind for our families, children, and neighbors: will we be loved, respected, and pursued or merely tolerated until they can get away?

*Addendum: And I am the man who is bothered by these things but does nothing to help. I sit in my apartment watching the powerful, deadly drama unfold, saying I care yet doing nothing. I am the chief of sinners, but don’t care. I am calloused and cowardly. No more. It’s time for me to be changed by God’s words and be real. What good are these articles if they’re merely words on a page that don’t affect change in my life or anyone else’s?  After much deliberation to edit/rewrite something tamer, I have chosen to be real with myself and with you, come what may.